Book Review: The Frustrations of Being Deaf

AKA - advice for hard of hearing people who are of working age.

3/5 Stars - It’s OK. Full review:

Interesting. I’ve been severely hard of hearing for 20+ years, and an audiologist for 11. I’m looking for a book to recommend to patients/family members.

This book does indeed give a true flavour of how ignorant people are in real life. 5 stars for the honesty.

However, the way the author handles his disability is not helpful. He comes across as a sarcastic jobsworth who doesn’t support his coworkers.

He refers to himself as Deaf, which he technically is, but if he said Hard of Hearing it would eliminate half of his troubles. You say Deaf, but then appear to carry on a 1:1 conversation easily (lipreading/quiet environment). It’s natural that people would be confused.

You might yourself be confused if a Blind person recognised you! Are they having you on? No, they are partially-sighted and under certain lighting, with cues such as the bright tie you always wear, they learn to get by. Still doesn’t mean they can do the filing.

Combining a label of Deaf with a ‘chip on your shoulder’ attitude is why people think you’re shirking.

I had the same inability to answer ringing team phones, but ask your line manager to explain to all colleagues why you ignore the ringing! Ask HR to do a deaf awareness module. Expecting people to continually remember your specific, invisible needs is unrealistic.

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See their perspective too. They say hi and half the time you “ignore” them! You can either wait for them to magically get insight, or tell them at first introduction “I’m hard of hearing, if you don’t get my attention first, you might talk to me all day and I won’t notice!”.

Instead of waiting for people to fail you, then getting shirty with them, you can help them and yourself by explicitly explaining what you need and why. I got the plum desk in the corner due to my deafness, and humour helped me along. “I know I got the best desk because I can hear you all better with walls behind me. If you perforate both eardrums you’ll be able to have it” *winning smile*.

Yes you still meet asshats. Pity them - no one likes them - but I guarantee that you don’t need to live like this. Wearing your disability like a defensive shield helps no one, and ensures that no one wants to help you.